I fucking caught them. For the first time since 2018. I am in love? This doesn’t happen to the addicted… or does it? I can barely remember the last time I felt love. Or anything stronger than lust (which to be honest, I feel all the time, and is a vacuous and loose emotion). I.FELT.LOVE. …
Tag Archives: positivity
The Past, the Present, the Future
I sat and looked at myself in the mirror recently. I have aged. I have changed. (I was not unaware of this). But it was distinctly obvious. I face mortality. Unlike many my age, I probably have 20-30 years more. What does this time look like? Will I leave a legacy? Am I worth a …
Twenty Years
Many years, it took, to train my brain to dig, fight and yearn for the dopamine high. It’s not a disease. It’s a habit. A learned behaviour. Like a mouse to the buzzer. Repeated rewards. Repetitive chasing. Longing for that hit. It wasn’t always drugs. It may have been a video game. It may have …
The Descent
Sometimes, it happens really quickly. A few things kind of turned against us and before we know it, we are coping in ways we used to see as acceptable and comforting. But they aren’t When you are descending, the time for reflection becomes poignant. You’ve been here before. You’ve felt this before. You are still …
is it a disease?
I have always argued that it is not. I have been stoic in the fact that I make choices at times, often taking the easiest route. The most hedonistic route. The familiar route. Because a new route is hard. Change – for the new and improved – is hard, if not to start, then certainly …
Lose Yourself to Find Yourself
It’s not true. Well, some profundity may be experienced in the realm of delving into your mind, altering your consciousness to a point where your perspective changes. But, at some stage, you’re going to need to stop trying to lose yourself, otherwise, simply put, you will never find yourself again. Stop trying to lose your …
Redemption
It’s possible. We might even, crave it. Many years, people looked over us. We were passed us over. Occasionally someone took notice. Fuck, what you could be. There’s some kind of potential there, who knows where, but it’s somewhere you could go. There’s a crutch, there’s a niggling injury. Something which holds us back. We’re …
Regret
We’re surrounded by debris of the past… thinking about what could have been. What should have been. I am lost in my current position. Regret is a strong emotion. Apparently, if you’re feeling it, you’re living in the past. You’re remembering decisions and actions which you no longer have the power to affect. I can’t …
self love
You have to care about yourself to defeat an unwanted addiction
tobacco
In some ways the hardest, but in many, the easiest to defeat Tobacco is the beginning and the end of addiction for many. Most of us started in our early years, for who knows why. Was it an act of rebellion? Be cool? Trying to fit in? Maybe someone we looked up to was a …
The Addiction Paradox 