I sat and looked at myself in the mirror recently. I have aged. I have changed. (I was not unaware of this). But it was distinctly obvious. I face mortality. Unlike many my age, I probably have 20-30 years more. What does this time look like? Will I leave a legacy? Am I worth a …
Tag Archives: change the way you think
Twenty Years
Many years, it took, to train my brain to dig, fight and yearn for the dopamine high. It’s not a disease. It’s a habit. A learned behaviour. Like a mouse to the buzzer. Repeated rewards. Repetitive chasing. Longing for that hit. It wasn’t always drugs. It may have been a video game. It may have …
The Descent
Sometimes, it happens really quickly. A few things kind of turned against us and before we know it, we are coping in ways we used to see as acceptable and comforting. But they aren’t When you are descending, the time for reflection becomes poignant. You’ve been here before. You’ve felt this before. You are still …
is it a disease?
I have always argued that it is not. I have been stoic in the fact that I make choices at times, often taking the easiest route. The most hedonistic route. The familiar route. Because a new route is hard. Change – for the new and improved – is hard, if not to start, then certainly …
The spiral may Always be Close
You’re doing ok. You’re building something. You’re making changes. And then all of a sudden you’re not. You’ve stepped in the wrong direction, and classically, you’ve gone too far before you realize where you are. You’ve spiraled. You’re up shit creek without a paddle. The current is strong. It’s going to take some fortitude to …
Lose Yourself to Find Yourself
It’s not true. Well, some profundity may be experienced in the realm of delving into your mind, altering your consciousness to a point where your perspective changes. But, at some stage, you’re going to need to stop trying to lose yourself, otherwise, simply put, you will never find yourself again. Stop trying to lose your …
Redemption
It’s possible. We might even, crave it. Many years, people looked over us. We were passed us over. Occasionally someone took notice. Fuck, what you could be. There’s some kind of potential there, who knows where, but it’s somewhere you could go. There’s a crutch, there’s a niggling injury. Something which holds us back. We’re …
Broken record, I am
I could write a paragraph about the same shit. I could write a paragraph about the possibility of change, about how it’s right there waiting for me to grab it by the horns. But this blog is for me. And the truth is, I want this to be reality. That reality is probably not mine. …
Decide what you want.
I’ve been sitting here wondering who can help me figure out a conundrum. I’m aware of what I need to do to get my life on track. I’m somewhat aware of how I can do these things, to get my life on track. Write a plan they say, break it down. Small steps, small gains. …
the horizons are shifting
it’s been a long journey through the covid haze, and it’s not over yet. I chose to indulge, seeing as employment, leaving the house, and responsibility were at a minimum. One might say guilt-free indulgence. Maybe, for the first time ever. It wasn’t seen as a bad thing to hang around at home. So I …
The Addiction Paradox 