I’ve been sitting here wondering who can help me figure out a conundrum. I’m aware of what I need to do to get my life on track. I’m somewhat aware of how I can do these things, to get my life on track. Write a plan they say, break it down. Small steps, small gains. …
Author Archives: imprfectcircle
Regret
We’re surrounded by debris of the past… thinking about what could have been. What should have been. I am lost in my current position. Regret is a strong emotion. Apparently, if you’re feeling it, you’re living in the past. You’re remembering decisions and actions which you no longer have the power to affect. I can’t …
discipline
It’s not something you have or not. It’s a cycle of behaviour. You can be disciplined. You can act disciplined. But it’s not an attainable aspect of character which you may learn and have forever more. You’ll never have discipline. You’ll need to constantly behave in a disciplined way to be disciplined. Therein lies the …
Mary Jane: The Companion
She’s the companion you never knew you needed. Maybe, a manifestation of the companion you always wanted. Weed, becomes a friend, when you least expect it, and can insidiously affect your life. Usually warming. Often calming. Embracing. Uplifting-smiling. Maryjane is at her best. She’s the star. She’s the heat. She’s the driver. You’re in the …
Patrick Melrose
Binged this series recently. Can’t say it was a happy experience, but it was a good one. It made me feel. Benedict Cumberbatch was outstanding in the lead role, not discounting the script adaptation from the novels (I have not read them) and the direction. I highly recommend the series. Even when a show can …
the horizons are shifting
it’s been a long journey through the covid haze, and it’s not over yet. I chose to indulge, seeing as employment, leaving the house, and responsibility were at a minimum. One might say guilt-free indulgence. Maybe, for the first time ever. It wasn’t seen as a bad thing to hang around at home. So I …
pornography
Around the time that I began puberty, the internet was well on its way. On a 56k modem, in the mid 90’s, I discovered what I thought was the pandoras box of adult content available online. As my friend’s and I navigated the world of early high school, crushes, friends, erections, love and sex, the …
disconnect
Being disconnected from people who can help you step past this point in your life is one of the many reasons you stay put. This is the tough bit. The bit that perpetuates the entire process of addiction. Making decisions, alone, which are rarely in one’s best interests. It often feels too hard to start …
relapse
Somewhere along the line of progress, appears regression. Nothing is permanent, everything changes. Progress ebbs forward and grows… and then it will occasionally about turn and completely disappear. Need to stop inferring that this was in some way out of my control… I let it happen. Returning from a holiday I smoked some weed, and …
self love
You have to care about yourself to defeat an unwanted addiction
The Addiction Paradox 