The Past, the Present, the Future

I sat and looked at myself in the mirror recently.

I have aged. I have changed. (I was not unaware of this). But it was distinctly obvious. I face mortality. Unlike many my age, I probably have 20-30 years more. What does this time look like?

Will I leave a legacy?

Am I worth a legacy? What do I leave, what do I say? Who do I say it to?

I still see myself as a vessel. I’m not really here. I am a figment of my own imagination. I have nowhere to go. I have nothing to prove.

That’s slightly untrue. As I return, to a draft I started many months ago, I feel differently. Vessel? Maybe. But I am distinctly here.

I have a lot to prove.

I have a lot to live for.

The paths I have chosen (sic), will not define me.

There is life out there, which I am yet to experience, but I would not limit myself to miss out on, or prove that I am unworthy, should I have chosen to give up at any time.

A dogmatic, strength, throughout my own destruction, remains.

I want to succeed and enjoy. I am capable.

If anything I have ever written, at all rings true, it is that I am capable of choosing to be successful in life.

At some stage, one must begin to walk the fucking talk.

And so, there is a future. The past, will become a part of my continuation. Never falter the natural instinct to persevere. Even I, at my most desolate, find hope. Hope – as vague a feeling it can be – is the first to begin and the last to die.

Maybe, it’s want. After all, I’ve never lacked desire.

Take, what you have the strength and will to do so. Not from others, but from the skeleton image you built. You, are more than your past, your actions, your feelings and your imagination.

I am my determination.

All this pain is an illusion. Life awaits those who work for what they want.