One of the few keys necessary to fighting anything within. To win, to overcome what you may be struggling with – to have the willpower to try.
If you don’t care enough to try, then you won’t succeed in defeating an addiction
Have you ever felt defeated? Been through a period of depression, or struggled to deal with something in life? This period may have been the toughest to avoid a compulsive move, some addictive behaviour. For me, these were the times I said ‘fuck it’, ‘I don’t care’ … these were the times I found it easiest to give in to the desire to smoke or gamble. Or both. The desire to dig a hole. To destroy what I wasn’t enjoying, and essentially what I wasn’t enjoying was my life. It was really difficult to separate a current feeling, something felt in momentum, to what was real and consistent and long term. How I felt right then, was how life actually really was.
These were the times I sucked back on a cigarette. Many cigarettes, over and over again. Somehow, comforted, by the fact that I was slowly ending my life. Times when I threw caution into the trashcan and gambled with all the available money I could get my hands onto.
Winning wasn’t a goal – it was a potential side effect of subtly trying to destroy myself
There’s a lot of discussion around about having self-love. Learning to love yourself, unconditionally. With or without fault (surely, we are all with – in some way or another), essentially we need to accept who we are.
“Accept the things I cannot change, have courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to tell the difference.”
Serenity prayer
Regardless of the saturation of this somewhat cliched quote, there is so much weight behind it. It goes back to the very core of your existence, of your life, of who you think you are. You need to understand and accept, to move forward, to change.
Are you worth the effort? You have to believe so. You have to want to change, want to fight. Because with the toughest addictions, giving in will always be easier than making a stance.
Find a reason to care about yourself. Find a reason to believe that you’re worth it, worth the fight. These reasons provide the structure for your willpower to find it’s feet, for you to actually find the self fortitude to make the decisions you want to make, make the decisions which can help you change your life. Through despair it is easy to destroy yourself. However, changing the way you think about these things can help you re-focus your energies..
Anger is a gift
‘Freedom’ – Rage Against the Machine
Harness your strong feelings, whatever they are, be it hate, anger, frustration, depression.. Regardless if these are towards yourself or others, these are strong feelings which have an immense effect on your body. They are permitting you to act in ways which are harming you. These are effecting your thoughts, outlook, movement and strength. You must find the will power to utilize these strong feelings for your benefit.
Turning these thoughts into some kind of self-motivation can eventually turn these things into self love. Into reasons why you would change your life, change your actions, want to live life differently.
Anger can become strength or endurance – lift weights! Run around the block! I can’t begin to stress the self worth these two actions begin to generate…
Hate can become love – the things you hate about other people are often things you hate about yourself. Analyse these and turn your feelings of hate into the opposite, after all the two feelings require the same effort with the opposing results…
Frustrated with something? Discuss with a friend and have them help you break this down to its core. It’s probably easier to combat than you realize.
Depressed? You are feeling the past. The future is unwritten. You cannot feel bad about it before it happens. Make the move NOW to start feeling differently tomorrow. It may be incremental, but all progress is!
Find a way to love yourself and truly believe you are worth the fight to change. Fighting an addiction can be a long-term battle. Sometimes you feel like you’re there, sometimes you feel like you’ve overcome it. But it can reappear when you least expect it, when you let your guard down. You don’t need an everlasting guard, but you do need everlasting self love. Change the way you think, about life, love and yourself. You have to believe that you are worth it.
The Addiction Paradox 